Autonomy.

autonomy (noun)

1: the quality or state of being self-governing

2: self-directing freedom and especially moral independence

3: a self-governing state

When I graduated college, I joined Teach For America.

During Institute (what summer training is called), I struggled.

I finally felt free from school, but I didn't always feel treated like an adult (or how I thought it would feel to be treated in the real world).

The training was intense and I sometimes felt like they were trying to teach me things I already knew--the things I felt I did well and were the reason they let me into the Corp in the first place.

I went on to teach 5th Grade for two years--the hardest and most fulfilling two years of my life.

In the classroom, I found autonomy for the first time.

Yes, I had the pressures of standards, school administration, parents, and 10 year olds.

But, within those four walls, when it was just me and my students, I had a lot of space to decide how each day would go.

I learned confidence, decisiveness, and unconditional love.

I also learned how to constantly pivot, regroup, and reframe.

Fast forward 6 years, to when I joined a law firm and waded into Midwestern #BigLaw.

There's an inherent tension for associates joining firms:

In some ways, you are a real adult. You have the freedom to choose how to spend your time, money, and energy.

But, you also, often, have no clue what you're doing.

It is trial by fire, and you have many bosses, all with their own demands, schedules, and preferences.

It doesn't always feel like you thought being a lawyer (or real adult) would feel.

The most common struggle I hear about from associates is the lack of autonomy.

Associates feel little choice or control over their daily, professional lives.

It is tough, and it is not always enjoyable.

Over the last 6 years, I've developed tools to create more autonomy for myself--even while remaining at the beck and call of those above and around me.

Some of these things, I wish I had implemented a lot sooner.

But, overall, they help me survive and sometimes thrive in the legal ecosystem.

Stay tuned for those tips tomorrow.

For now, do you struggle with autonomy? Does the "real world" feel like you hoped it would?

#lawyerwellbeing #law #culture #legalissues #motivation