Expectations

I’ve always struggled with what I perceive to be expected of me versus what I might prefer to do.

Sometimes, the expectations are real and external.

Sometimes, after years of doing as told, the expectations are my own, internal, maybe even made up.

This has made me a generally compliant person.

This also leads to conflict, when the expectations and what I really want to do come to a head.

This can be exacerbated in #biglaw, as my achieving tendencies push me to follow rules and do what I’m told.

But: I fight back and reflect on this nearly every day.

It is so important to not lose yourself.

Why? Because work, in the traditional sense, won’t fulfill you.

Doing what you think others want you to do, is a fast way to be dissatisfied.

It will not, without self reflection and self care, bring you lasting joy, validation, or contentment.

I’ve found more freedom as an adult—starting in law school—to embrace who I am and what I want.

That’s easier when what I want aligns with what others want from me.

But, it also means those “wants” can take over.

Yes, I am an attorney.

Yes, I work at a big firm.

Yes, I love litigating.

Yes, most days my job satisfies a part of me.

But: I am so much else.

Sometimes I lose sight of that “much else.”

That’s okay. It’ll happen.

I’m in that part of the cycle now, doing a lot of the professional expectations and wants, and letting the “much else” fall to the side.

With summer here, I hope to make more time for the “much else.”

I know I’ll be more content, satisfied, and well-rounded when I do.

#lawyerwellbeing #professionalwomen #bestadvice #personaldevelopment