Keep Talking

My #billablehour breakdown has started to catch some flack here on LinkedIn. It is rare that I get judgmental comments here. On other platforms, I get them much more often. 9/10 times, I can let them roll off of me. Yesterday, into today, it's been harder.

I think it is the assumptions--like that I can't or don't appreciate life.

And the insinuations--like, "How can you talk openly about this when someone just took their life because of the expectations of this job?"

It is also the judgment--like, "I hope you don't have kids" (This one felt particularly cruel--what does that say to all the working parents who work as much or more than me? to the children of working parents, like me, who love and admire their hard work?)

I will not stop being open and honest about two things: (1) the realities of #biglaw and (2) #lawyerwellbeing--two things I have deeply struggled with, leading to a passion to pull back the curtain on life in this gig and to destigmatize getting help when things get hard.

I refuse to hide the truth: this is a hard profession and it can exacerbate inner turmoil for even the strongest of us.

I know what it is like to think, "I see what would lead someone to that choice," when mental health tragedies strike our profession (and they will continue to do so if we don't talk about why it reaches that point and how to avoid it).

I have sought help and I will continue to seek help.

I get why people leave. I get why people balk at the hours.

To those, I say: I hope you find an opportunity that serves you well and meets your needs and wants for life. Truly.

I also say: Be kind. Let go of judgment. We all make choices. We all do things differently. That's okay--even great. It is what makes the world go 'round.

To those of you in the thick of it, like me, or even just starting out: you are not alone. Leaving big law (or the law altogether) is not the only option. You can find sustainability, you can have a full life, you can even thrive here. It takes nearly constant work--billing time, sure, but also: on and for yourself.

Every day I work on myself.

Every day I check in with my mental health.

Every day I enter and bill my time.

I've chosen this life and, most days, I love it and am content with where I am and what I'm doing. And so: I will not stop sharing how I make it work, because I hope more of you make it work, too.

#mindfullyemily #professionalwomen