Sunday Reset 1.7.24
#SundayReset
This week it hit me: In 2018, I had an emergency appendectomy. It started around 8 PM and led to early morning surgery the next day. It happened very quickly. I, though, didn’t hesitate to ask my colleagues for help: help moving a hearing, help covering files, and more. My colleagues stepped up immediately, no questions asked.
Fast forward two years, to 2020: I was struggling. A tough boss, burnout, high work hours, and the loneliness of the stay-at-home order pushed my anxiety to a peak I had never experienced before. It led to some very intense, even dangerous, thoughts. I knew I needed help, and I did get help, just not from anyone at work. I didn’t tell them what was going on. I hid it.
Today, in 2024, I’ve found my voice. I’ve become comfortable, even confident, enough to talk openly about my struggles and be real about them publicly—and at work. I know, however, that this is not the case for many attorneys. That must change.
If the profession, and especially my realm of #biglaw, wants to make headway when it comes to attorney mental health and well-being, it must begin with destigmatizing voicing these struggles and seeking help when mental health comes to a head. It should be treated no differently than an emergency surgery or life-changing diagnosis.
Having these struggles does not make me weak. It makes me human. Struggling with mental health is just that: part of the shared human condition.
I am a human before I am an attorney. Getting a law degree, passing the bar, and even making partner, does not magically remove or resolve these struggles.
Our profession is slow to change. Yet, change is happening. Until big change comes, start small and start with yourself. Check in with yourself. Check in with your friends and colleagues. Take breaks, take care of yourself, and lead by example. The sooner you start, no matter how small, the sooner the momentum will build and you’ll find the comfort and confidence like I have to speak up more broadly.
This change starts with us, individually. If we wait on others to create change, it’ll be too late.
Finally, if you are struggling: you are not alone. High achievers tend to believe this. I know I did: I’m the only one struggling. I’m the only one making mistakes. I’m the only one wondering if I’m cut out for this gig. This is a thought we can and should challenge. It is untrue.
You can call or text 988 and receive immediate resources for addressing the present moment’s concerns. You can find your firm’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP), which should have free sessions with a clinical professional. You can reach out to your state bar’s lawyer assistance program. All of this is confidential. Or, you can reach out to a friend or family member. I promise you can.
Mental health is health. Lawyers are not immune from its ups and downs. Addressing it and improving it will make us all better and stronger in the end.
#mindfullyemily #lawyerwellbeing #professionalwomen